


You're So Punny

by myspideysensesrtingling



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Homecoming, Marvel - Freeform, Peter Parker - Freeform, Spider-Man - Freeform, mcu - Freeform, peter parker x reader - Freeform, peter parker x y/n, peter parker x you - Freeform, spider-man x reader, spider-man x y/n, spider-man x you, the fluff is overwhelming, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-17 19:44:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18105188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myspideysensesrtingling/pseuds/myspideysensesrtingling
Summary: Peter likes puns and one girl in particular. What happens when he puts those things together?





	You're So Punny

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a writing challenge hosted by tumblr user @sweetlysilent !! I picked the prompt, “That’s the worst joke I’ve ever heard” with Peter Parker. Kinda cheesy. Whatever. My first one-shot. Forgive me. Fluff galore. Enjoy.

“Peter, you have to quit. That’s so stupid!”

Shoulder to shoulder, best friends Peter Parker and Ned Leeds walked down the emptying halls of the Midtown School of Science and Technology on their way to Monday’s academic decathlon practice. Classes were done for the day and students not in clubs were clearing out.

“No way, man. She likes it!” Peter told his friend. There was a girl - not just a girl to Peter, however - on the decathlon team. She was a new student that year and to say that Peter had fallen hard and fast would be an understatement. In fact, he knew the instant he fell; it was when he heard her laugh.

“No, dude,” Ned plead, “she laughs because she’s nice and doesn’t want it to be awkward.”

Peter always felt nervous around new people. Though she was pretty, he hadn’t been any more nervous meeting her that first day of decathlon practice than he was meeting anyone else. But those nerves caused by meeting a new person were just enough to get Peter to tell a stupid joke. A stupid joke that made her laugh that laugh. That laugh, elicited by his nervous-rambling-driven joke, pushed him into the deep end.

“Ned, trust me. She’s going to like this one.”

Since the day they met, Peter spent time before each decathlon practice finding one joke he could tell to hear her sweet laugh again. Just one. Nothing much; he couldn't be too obvious. He  didn’t want to go a day without hearing it and seeing the bright smile that came with it.

The boys stepped into the library where the decathlon team met to study. Most of the group was already seated at their usual table; the only person missing was their teacher, Mr. Harrington. He was usually last and kicked off the meetings, but everyone knew Peter’s other friend, MJ, was actually in charge.

“Hey guys, decided to show up after all?” MJ prompted as Peter and Ned found seats at the table. Peter sat with Y/N on his right, as usual, while Ned sat across from him and next to MJ.

“We aren’t late; Mr. Harrington isn’t here yet,” Ned argued. While he continued bickering with MJ, Y/N leaned over to Peter.

“You’re not late; we haven’t done anything yet. Don’t stress,” she assured with a smile.

The brief yet sweet smile was just enough to tease the butterflies in Peter’s stomach. He nodded back softly; whispering a quick thanks as Mr. Harrington finally strolled in.

“Alright, guys. Let’s get going. Today is English and grammar day, right?”

“Yep, and I’ve got all the practice questions ready to go,” MJ responded, clearly more prepared than her superior. Every day after school, they’d study by breaking into two teams – one on each side of the table – and go through a mock competition for the subject of the day. They used flashcards for each question and even mocked the buzzer-pressing aspect of the decathlon. After going through all the questions, they’d spend the remaining time studying to fill in their gaps in knowledge. MJ handed Mr. Harrington the study questions and they quickly got started.

“What is an _intransitive phrasal verb_?”

Y/N’s hand slammed down on the table expecting competition, shrinking slightly when no one else did.

“Y/N?” Mr. Harrington prompted.

“An intransitive phrasal verb is a verb made up of a main verb together with an adverb or preposition that lacks an object.”

“Can you give an example?”

“Sure,” she leaned back in her chair in thought only a moment before springing forward. “They _set off_ early to miss rush hour traffic.”

“What? That doesn’t mean anything,” taunted Flash, a cocky boy sitting on the opposite side of Y/N from Peter.

“No, she’s right!” Mr. Harrington exclaimed, as surprised as anyone else to find out what the term meant. Everyone mocked Flash’s blind arrogance except Peter, who was far more focused on how smart the beaming girl next to him was. 

Question after question was asked and answered, with each team responding to their fair share. Finally, Mr. Harrington reached the last card of the deck and, therefore, last question of the day before they’d break out to study.

“In William Shakespeare’s _The Tragedy of Hamlet_ , better known as _Hamlet_ ,” Mr. Harrington read, “what are the names of the protagonist’s two acquaintances from the University of Wittenberg who serve as comedic relief throughout the story?”

Peter and Y/N simultaneously slammed their hands down only moments before MJ.

“Peter?”

“Rosencrantz and...and-” he panicked, suddenly blanking on the second character. _Golderson_?  _Ganderstan_? He couldn’t remember and his team’s time was running out before the other team could steal.

“Guildenstern!” Y/N piped up to aid him as the other team sank into their seats with the weight of defeat.

“Nice teamwork, you two,” Mr. Harrington acknowledged as Peter took the opportunity to thank Y/N for saving him yet again. “Let’s take a quick break before we get to studying.”

“You nerds are annoying, I’m going to the bathroom,” Flash announced, seeking attention.

Peter’s eyes locked with Ned’s while everyone surrounding them shuffled. “If you’re American in the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?” he teased quietly, drawing an eye roll from Ned.

“Wait, what?” Y/N asked, turning from her backpack hanging on the back of her chair to face the blushing boy next to her. The room fell silent as everyone looked to Peter, though he only saw her, staring at him as if it whatever he had to say was the most important thing she’d ever hear.

Ned groaned.

“If you’re American in the bathroom, and American when you come out,” Peter proposed, confident in his choice of this joke for the day despite his friend’s ridicule. “What are you in the bathroom?”

Her eyebrows furrowed as she broke eye contact and looked down in thought. Her tongue poked out the corner of her mouth, as it always did when she was perplexed. Normally the problems involved the quadratic formula or the laws of thermodynamics, but Peter didn’t care. _Anything to see that face and hear that laugh._

She eventually looked up at him and shrugged her shoulders. “European,” Peter jeered, his grin initially met with silence.

He watched her eyes as the joke clicked, first opening wide with amusement as she failed to hold back a small snort. She then hung her head and chuckled to herself before finally leaning back and giggled, hand on her stomach as she tried to contain her outburst of laughter. A bewildered Ned stared at her; he loved Peter but couldn’t comprehend how another person could possibly find his friend’s joke remotely funny.

Peter didn’t care how. He didn’t care why. All he cared about was seeing her nose scrunch up and the corners of her eyes crease in her fit of laughter, leaning back in her chair as her feet kicked off the ground and she giggled, struggling for air, over a stupid pun. _His_ stupid pun.

 

* * *

 

 

Tuesday was slated for geography questions. Everyone sat in their usual seats as Mr. Harrington pulled out the cards and got straight into asking questions.

“The assassination of one man and his wife is regarded as a major cause of World War I. Name this man, his nationality, his title, and the year in which he died.”

The slam of a hand on the table echoed throughout the mostly-empty library. “Archduke Franz Ferdinand from Austria-Hungary died in 1914!”

As usual, questions flew by. Peter answered some questions, Y/N answered some questions - earning one courageous high-five from Peter - Ned answered questions. Everyone got at least a couple right.

“In what year did Switzerland gain its independence?”

“1291!”

Peter’s eyes lit up at the mention of the keyword for his joke of the day while Ned’s eyes characteristically rolled. Once again, Ned was not satisfied with Peter’s flirting strategy nor the joke itself. Peter leaned over to Y/N anyway, snickering and whispering the joke in her ear. 

“What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?” he prompted, leaning away. Her eyebrows furrowed in brief thought before she shook her head in response.

“I don’t know,” Peter answered, “but the flag is a _big_ _plus._ ” 

Again it happened. She pressed her eyelids closed, rocked her head back, and blew air out her nose before it turned into a full-on giggle that distracted the whole team. Peter repeated the joke for the group, earning no more laughs than Y/N’s, but he couldn’t have cared less. The joke fulfilled its purpose.

 

* * *

 

Wednesday arrived and Peter couldn’t help but feel like he was on a roll. She laughed harder than ever at his jokes the last two days and, upon entering the library and seeing her in the same spot as always with his seat open on her left, struggled to contain his adoration. He hung his backpack on the back of the chair and slid into it, glancing at her as she turned to greet him.

“Hey, Y/N,” he mumbled, voice wavering, “You having a good day?” A simple question, sure, but her eyes twinkled as he spoke to her.

“Yeah,” she responded shyly, corners of her mouth tilting up as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah Peter, I am, thanks. How are you?”

“Great,” he admitted as he spotted Mr. Harrington walk in. “Really great.” _She has no idea._

“Marathons are measured to be 26 miles 385 yards. How many meters is that?”

Pencils squeaked against notepaper and fingers hurriedly tapped against calculators for only a moment until Y/N shouted out the answer.

“Forty-two-thousand-one-hundred-ninety-five!”

Mr. Harrington nodded, running out of praise to give his students as they answered nearly every question correctly. Flustered, he dropped half the deck of cards and frantically tried to pick them up. Peter jumped at the opportunity to talk to Y/N; Ned was appalled as usual.

“Hey, Y/N,” Peter whispered, poking her shoulder and leaning over to her.

“Hmm?” She raised her eyebrows and grinned prematurely, growing accustomed to Peter’s quick quips whenever there was a lull in studying.

“Why can’t a nose,” he paused to point at her nose; the tip of his finger hovering centimeters away from her face, “be 12 inches long?”

Her forehead creased and tongue stuck out the corner subconsciously. She pressed her lips together, frustrated with the fact she could solve complex math problems but not Peter’s silly riddles. Eventually she gave up; she always enjoyed the goofy grin on his face when he got to spoil the answer for her. “I don’t know, Pete. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?”

“Because then,” he teased, “it would be a _foot_.”

For a moment his heart sank as she simply stared back at him. No laughter, no smile, no expression at all. She could only mask it so long, however. Her nostrils slowly flared as she lost control, lips pressing together harder and harder. Her cheeks rounded as she fought the smile from breaking, but it was too late. She burst out giggling that signature giggle, that one that multiplied the butterflies in Peter’s stomach exponentially. She looked at him sitting next to her out of the corner of her eye before playfully shoving him to the side and dropping her head onto her arms on the desk 

“I can’t handle your jokes, Peter Parker!” she said, voice muffled in her sleeves. He pulled her back up by the shoulder closest to him, chuckling to himself and shaking his head as she sat upright again. She turned to him as Mr. Harrington started reading the next question. She somehow had a way of feigning annoyance while still beaming up at him. And Peter? He lived for it.

 

* * *

 

 

Thursday’s study session rolled around like any other. As Peter and Ned walked to the library at the end of the regular school day, Peter once again rattled off the joke he prepared.

“Today’s history. I’m hoping there’ll be a question about a dam or a fish.”

“Peter, this is really setting up to be an awful joke. Are you seriously using this random garbage to flirt with her? Dams and fish really don’t get people in _the mood_ ,” he said, finger quotes and all. “You know how to use dams to get her in the mood? You say, “Damn, you are so beautiful,” or something normal, for goodness sake!” Ned’s tolerance for Peter’s inability to simply talk to the girl he liked so much was dwindling.

Peter shrugged him off as the two of them entered the library. Mr. Harrington followed shortly after.

“What day is today?”

“Thursday,” MJ asserted, “but we’re going to need to practice with much tougher questions than that if we’re going to be ready for the decathlon in a few weeks.”

“I’m choosing to ignore you. Ok, first question,” Mr. Harrington started, “why was the Hoover Dam sometimes referred to as the Boulder Dam until a resolution was passed that officially declared it the Hoover Dam?”

With dams on his mind - and not joke ones - from his conversation only moments ago, Ned surged at the chance to answer the question. “Many people didn’t want to call it the Hoover Dam because they felt Herbert Hoover, the president after which it was named, was partly to blame for the Great Depression.”

Sticking directly to his playbook, Peter leaned over to Y/N while Mr. Harrington told Ned he was correct and shuffled to the next card.

“What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?” He asked, whispering in her ear.

“What wall would a--ohhh,” she sighed, having put together the pieces. Her lips widened into a closed mouth smile as she faced Peter, closing her eyes and pressing her lips together to keep the giggles down. Peter grinned expectantly, wondering if she really had the right answer for once.

She opened her eyes and they immediately locked with Peter’s. “Dam,” the both muttered softly, Peter sporting a broadening smile and her fighting - unsuccessfully, of course - to contain the giggles. She hung her head, stifling her laughter as best as possible. Peter reveled in the moment; he couldn’t even see her face but it was enough for him to know she was laughing and that he helped paint a smile on her beautiful face. He nudged her shoulder to get her attention as Mr. Harrington started to read out the following question; the last thing he wanted was to get her in trouble.

“What is one way the Europeans justified their land policy in North America in the context of taking land from Great Plains Indians?”

Peter marveled in the fact that somehow, though he had been distracting her the first half of the question, she found a way to be the first to answer it.

“Y/N?”

“They claimed the Great Plains Indians were nomads and therefore had no ownership of the land in the first place.”

Ned was right: damn, she was beautiful. Peter also thought she was brilliant, however, in every sense of the word.

 

* * *

 

On Friday, Mr. Harrington made a deal (with MJ’s approval, of course) to let everyone go early since the team had done so well all week. They just had to get through the review questions and wouldn’t have to stay and study. As the deck of remaining science questions thinned, Peter anxiously awaited a question involving the topic of his joke for Y/N. His knee involuntarily bounced like a jackhammer while he sat, his focus on the girl by his side but his mind drifting to places far away from the Midtown library.

“Two solid spheres of radius _R_ made of the same type of steel are placed in contact, as shown in the figure.” Mr. Harrington slid a piece of paper with the diagram onto the table for the students to see before continuing. “The magnitude of the gravitational force that they exert on each other is _F_ 1\. When two other solid spheres of radius 3 _R_ made of this steel are placed in contact, what is the magnitude of the gravitational force that they exert on each other?”

Y/N jumped in for what Peter felt like the thousandth time that day. _Is there anything she doesn’t know?_  “81 _F_ 1, based on Newton’s Law of Gravitation.” Flash was sick of this girl stealing his thunder and loudly sighed while rolling his eyes 

“Correct, Y/N. And Flash, I saw that. You can’t answer the next question,” he commanded, having had enough of Flash’s pouting. “Last one before the weekend. Which NASA mission in what year first put man on the moon?”

All Peter’s twitchy feelings channeled into an aggressive slap of his hand down on the desk. The other students, some trying to hit the table themselves, recoiled at the sound that now reverberated off the library walls. The other students raised their eyebrows at his sudden outburst, exacerbating his anxiety. As he surveyed the group, hesitant to answer, his eyes fell upon Y/N, whose eyebrows were raised but in a tickled sort of way; the corners of her mouth peeled up as she smiled as his goofy competitiveness.

A wave of calm flooded through him as the corners of her eyes pinched together. “Apollo 8, NASA’s second manned mission to the moon, sent astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin to walk on the moon.” He inhaled deeply as he finished his response, watching as her smile widened even further with his correct answer.

“Great, Peter. Good job, guys. Enjoy the study break and have a good weekend,” Mr. Harrington concluded as he exited.

Peter nudged Y/N as everyone was packing up their backpacks. He was greeted by her already-expectant face; it was as if it was preparing to smile and laugh just by looking at him. “Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?” he asked her.

She cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips. Her eyes never left his; she searched them as if hoping to find the answer beneath their deep brown hue. “No, Peter, I didn’t.”

He grinned back at her. “She just needed a little... _space_.”

Her reaction was instantaneous; her head dropped back in laughter. Her chair leaned back with her, tipping just past its point. Her laugh faded out as she realized she was falling, but Peter was there to catch the chair without even moving from his own. Knowingly safe, she returned to laughing without even a second to pause. Peter pushed her slightly, drawing an eruption of even more as she lost her balance while she tried to pick up her heavy backpack. Finally, under control, she waved and walked out of the library just a few yards ahead of Peter and Ned.

“Dude, you’re so weird. She needed space?” Ned groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Hang on Ned, I have to do something really quick.”

Peter grabbed his backpack straps and trotted up ahead to catch up with Y/N as they walked through the front doors to the outside of the school where parents picked up their kids. “Hey, Y/N,” he called, gently placing his hand on her shoulder.

She turned around, smiling as soon as she caught a glimpse of his face. His heart pounded in his chest but it was warm, so warm at the sight of her exceptionally silly yet elegant smile.

“Hey, Pete. What’s up? You find an extra joke to hold me over for the weekend?” She giggled, unknowingly making his heart pound that much harder as he scoured the depths of his brain for one more joke, the one that would make this perfect. And then it hit him.

“Uh, yeah, kind of, actually!” He cracked jokes all week but for some reason this one didn’t want to come out. It was just another pun, but this time a little more was at stake. “Are you...are you made of copper and tellurium?” He paused, recharging his courage to deliver the punchline. “Because you’re Cu-Te and...and I was wondering...if you’d like to go out sometime? On a…a date?”

Peter gripped the straps of his backpack tighter. So tight even, his knuckles turned white. He didn’t realize how sticky his palms were until this moment he waited for her response. She looked back at him, biting her bottom lip as a grin stretched wider and wider across her face until she succumbed to her usual giggle fit. Now biting her lip again, she looked down, tucking a loose piece of hair behind her right ear before bringing her gaze back to Peter’s hopeful eyes.

“Peter, I’m very flattered, but **that is the worst joke I’ve ever heard** ,” she admitted, instantly falling back into snickering. “But to answer your question, _yes_ , I’d love to go on a date with you.”

His eyes danced as if seeing the stars for the first time. “Really? I mean - sounds good, yeah, I’ll text you?”

She smiled again, charmed by his nerves. A girl that laughed at both his nervous wavering and his science puns? Peter knew he hit the jackpot.

“Sounds good,” she answered, eyes twinkling up at his. Her own heart swelling, she rested her hand on his shoulder and stood up on her tiptoes, leaning in to press her smiling lips to his cheek ever so softly. Peter stood paralyzed all the way until she leaned back onto her heels and turned to walk to her dad’s car waiting in the pick-up lane. She got in the car and typed something on her phone, then pointed from her phone to him through the window and waved as her dad drove away. Peter watched as the car disappeared around the corner, only brought back to reality by a quiet buzz in his pocket.

 **Y/N:** Do you like science? Because I’ve got my ion you ;)


End file.
